{"id":1749,"date":"2019-11-19T15:06:15","date_gmt":"2019-11-19T20:06:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vets2industry.org\/new\/?p=1749"},"modified":"2020-02-24T12:31:56","modified_gmt":"2020-02-24T17:31:56","slug":"supporting-military-families-from-within","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vets2industry.org\/new\/supporting-military-families-from-within\/","title":{"rendered":"Supporting Military Families from Within"},"content":{"rendered":"
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By virtue of presidential decree, November is National Veterans and Military Families Month.\u00a0Because of the Veteran\u2019s Day observance, the focus often falls to the veteran aspect of this month.\u00a0I wanted to take some time to unpack some tangible ways for the military community to honor and celebrate Military Families from within.<\/p>\n

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Acknowledge That Families are Different and Mean Different Things to Different People<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Our society has changed and evolved and so has the military.\u00a0Though Tricare and DEERS still defines \u2018family\u2019 in a very black and white manner (marriage, birth, adoption, guardianship) it is important to realize that family means different things for different people.<\/p>\n

For a single Airman, her family may be her parents and siblings but, in a dorm living situation, it may also include roommate, close friends and coworkers.\u00a0There are many folks who also may not have warm, familial feelings for those who are \u2018by definition\u2019 family \u2013 estrangement, abandonment and abuse are real.<\/p>\n

Given these facts, it is important that the military community embrace and celebrate all manifestations of family.\u00a0Any military family will tell you, family is NOT defined by blood relation.<\/p>\n

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Encourage and Facilitate New Parent Supports<\/strong><\/h3>\n

This is mainly aimed at those in supervisory positions \u2013 you are not a better leader because you never take leave, work 16 hours a day and answer emails on the weekend.\u00a0All the branches have really stepped up with Parental Leave programs with up to 12 weeks for the primary caregiver and between 14-21 days for secondary caregivers.<\/p>\n

As a leader, your everyday discussions with an expecting subordinate should include firm insistence on a plan for taking the full parental leave entitlement.\u00a0We all hang up the uniform eventually but the assistance given to a new parent cannot be recreated.<\/p>\n

Leaders should also familiarize themselves with regulations regarding the pumping and storing of breastmilk.\u00a0[Personal Pet Peeve: A bathroom is NOT an authorized pumping location.]<\/p>\n

Work with your female subordinates to figure out solutions and be at the forefront of the discussion.\u00a0Even if she doesn\u2019t choose to take advantage of the space, you making sure it is planned for prior to her delivery speaks volumes.<\/p>\n

Finally, acknowledge that childcare is a critical need and concern for all parents.\u00a0Expecting parents should be made aware of the unborn waitlist for the base Child Development Center as well as options for childcare subsidies (as available) through Child Care Aware.<\/p>\n

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Participate in Family Training, Learning and Togetherness Opportunities\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/h3>\n

The opportunities abound on any base of any branch \u2013 GO!<\/p>\n

The financial management class and counseling offered by the Airman and Family Readiness Center \u2013 GO!<\/p>\n

The Family Resilience Training offered by the FOCUS Project (also available as teleFOCUS online now) \u2013 GO!<\/p>\n

The Family Campout put on by Outdoor Recreation \u2013 GO!<\/p>\n

The paintball trip hosted by the Single Marine Program \u2013 GO!<\/p>\n

As a parent, I know how busy life gets. \u00a0Between work, school, sports and general survival it can feel like a bridge too far to block out time for purely leisure pursuits.\u00a0Do it anyway!\u00a0Make sandwiches for dinner and fold laundry late at night; your family will be strengthened and enriched if you make it a priority.<\/p>\n

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It\u2019s Not All Sunshine and Rainbows<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Military family life is hard.\u00a0The highlight reels show exuberant homecomings, smiling promotions and well-traveled children.\u00a0What isn\u2019t shown is the struggle for a new normal during reintegration, the missed meals and solo vacations because \u201cduty called\u201d or the counseling to deal with the anxiety of being the new kid yet again.<\/p>\n

The military as a whole has gotten a lot better at asking servicemembers tough questions about suicide and mental health.\u00a0It\u2019s time we start normalizing those tough conversations within the military family.\u00a0Moving can be hard.\u00a0Adjusting can be hard.\u00a0Extended separations can be hard.\u00a0Let\u2019s call a spade a spade and speak it aloud.<\/p>\n

Instead of \u201cI don\u2019t know how you do it\u201d let\u2019s try \u201cHow can I help\u201d<\/p>\n

Instead of \u201cI\u2019m sure you\u2019ll make friends soon and adjust to this new home, it\u2019s just a phase\u201d let\u2019s try \u201cAre you thinking about killing yourself?\u00a0Can I sit with you to make a call for help?\u201d<\/p>\n

Instead of \u201cmilitary kids are so resilient\u201d let\u2019s try \u201csometimes it\u2019s difficult to adjust, what can we do to work through this. It’s ok if you need someone to talk to.\u201d<\/p>\n

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Final Thoughts<\/strong><\/h3>\n

I speak for myself when I say I am very proud to be part of a military family.\u00a0My children and I all feel a sense of pride and patriotism when discussing our connection to the military.\u00a0During this Month of the Military Family, let\u2019s look around at our neighbors, our friends, our fellow military families and acknowledge the fact that, through highs and lows, we are making this life work and our military is better because of our connection to it.<\/p>\n

*****\u00a0If you are in a crisis, please call the\u00a0Veterans and Military Crisis Line<\/a>\u00a0at 800-273-8255, and press 1, use the\u00a0Veterans Crisis Line online chat<\/a>, or send a text message to the Veterans Crisis Line at 838255.\u00a0You can also contact Military One Source, at\u00a0www.militaryonesource.mil<\/a>\u00a0or 800-342-9647. *****<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Article was originally published on November 4, 2019 on LinkedIn.<\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By virtue of presidential decree, November is National Veterans and Military Families Month.\u00a0Because of the Veteran\u2019s Day observance, the focus often falls to the veteran aspect of this month.\u00a0I wanted to take some time to unpack some tangible ways for the military community to honor and celebrate Military Families from within.   Acknowledge That Families […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":96,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"give_campaign_id":0,"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[126,5,123,125,124],"tags":[158,154,156,15,160,162,159,155,157,161,147],"class_list":["post-1749","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-children","category-education","category-family","category-spouse","category-veteran","tag-development","tag-family","tag-family-training","tag-linkedin","tag-military","tag-military-one-source","tag-service-members","tag-support","tag-training","tag-veteran-crisis-line","tag-veterans"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/vets2industry.org\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1749","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/vets2industry.org\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/vets2industry.org\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vets2industry.org\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/15"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vets2industry.org\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1749"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/vets2industry.org\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1749\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vets2industry.org\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/96"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/vets2industry.org\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1749"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vets2industry.org\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1749"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vets2industry.org\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1749"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}